


Have Your Cake (and Eat It Out Too)

by Baneberry



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sticky Sexual Interfacing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 12:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10360611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baneberry/pseuds/Baneberry
Summary: Sequel to thisfic.Whirl finally makes his move on Ultra Magnus.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For owlcatsandtea on Tumblr. It's not entirely necessary to read the first fic (Whirl enjoys making food and serving others; in that fic, it was Magnus), but hey, I certainly won't stop you if you do.

It's become something of a routine now. And Ultra Magnus loved routines.

However, this one was quite unexpected, which was putting it very lightly. Never did Magnus think he'd spend an hour every other day with Whirl in the latter's hab-suite, eating all the delicious gourmet desserts Whirl had prepared just for him. Ultra Magnus had asked if Whirl ever invited others over to try his treats, but Whirl replied with, "My treats are only for you." Then he repeatedly blinked, saying that was his version of a flirtatious wink.

It wasn't until some weeks later when Whirl admitted the three dishes he served that night contained aphrodisiacs that Magnus finally realized... Whirl was attracted to him. Maybe not romantically, but obviously in some way that went beyond platonic. Maybe sexual, if the third and final dish being something very creamy and phallic was any indication. Whirl was never good at being subtle, but he tried.

"Why me?" Ultra Magnus asked after looking upon the oozing weenie cake (that was its name according to Whirl, and Magnus cringed because he knew what a weenie was (thanks, Verity), and Whirl all but tried squirming into his lap, loudly declaring, "Boy oh boy, I could use a spanking right about now."

"Why not?" Whirl replied. "Your bod is basically one giant weapon. Wouldn't you find that sexy? It's like fragging a gun, but without fear you'd accidentally pull the trigger. Again."

"What?"

"If you don't wanna, we don't havta," Whirl exvented, poking the Oozing Weenie Cake with a utensil. "I mean, you'd think someone like you--slow, calculating, boring--would appreciate all this hard work I've done to court you. But I won't force you into anythin'."

Magnus frowned. "It's not like I'm entirely opposed," he confessed, "it's just... a surprise, that's all."

Whirl tucked his chin on his crossed pincers. "Man, you're kinda dense, aren't ya?" he teased. "Lotsa bots here find you hot. Don't believe me? You should see the things they've scribbled about you on the walls in the wash racks." Whirl sat back, poking a fork between two claws. "Real nasty stuff. Makes ya circuits go all tingly just readin' it. And maybe strokin' yourself as you read it, too."

Magnus didn't know if Whirl was joking or not, but... He'd need to check the wash racks later. If anything just to clean up the graffiti, which annoyed him and therefore kept him from hearing Whirl's lewd quip. "Well, Whirl," he said a moment later, "I am grateful for all these nice dishes you've shared with me, and I have eighteen point six klicks left before--"

Whirl swept everything off the table--cake, dishes, and all--only to throw the table aside right after. He ran up to Magnus, optic flashing. "Hell yeah!"

Ultra Magnus did insist they use the berth, however. Whirl said they could frag on the ceiling for all he cared. And though Magnus did intend to warm Whirl up with proper foreplay, Whirl demanded on going right to third base. All that baking _was_ foreplay. Magnus stretched out on his back, Whirl straddling his hips. He clipped his claws with excitement as Magnus's unit pressurized between his thighs.

"I've been waitin' for this aaaall day," Whirl giggled. Magnus decided better not to ask. Whirl leaned forward, nuzzling the side of his head against Magnus's cheek. Magnus nuzzled back, turning to kiss the faceless bot. That had his wing-blades spinning.

Whirl sat back again, closing his pincers around Magnus's unit. "Don't worry, I won't snip-snip," he reassured, "I need this, after all." He started stroking the unit, though admittedly it wouldn't do the same as fingers. However, it was just enough to get Magnus fully erect and cheekplates burning.

Whirl's own panels opened, lubricant already spilling from his engorged channel. Magnus was shocked just how wet he was. "I said I'd been preparing," Whirl explained, and then did that weird blinky-wink thing again. He rose up, still holding Magnus's unit, aligning his channel above it. It would stretch him, but not enough that would hurt. Or maybe Whirl liked when it hurt, Magnus didn't know, everything about his time with Whirl felt surreal and confusing.

Slowly, Whirl seated himself on the unit. Magnus gasped as the bot took a whole two inches, pausing to invent, relax, and continue. Channel walls fluttered and clenched his unit, wet and ridiculously perfect. Whirl was uncharacteristically quiet, optic lidded and dim, but his plating rattled and fans cycled loudly. "N-Nice," he breathed, once he was stuffed halfway on Magnus's erection. "You just r-relax. Whirl'll do the w-work."

"Are--"

But then Whirl started rolling his hips, and Magnus choked on static. Whirl would grind down in between swaying, then stop to lift himself a few inches off and slam back down. Both mechs cried out, and Magnus's hands flew to Whirl's sides, nearly wrapping entirely around his waist. Whirl bounced, never rising completely off the unit. He did once, staring down to watch as his folds teased the edge in soft, wet strokes. Obscene, but Magnus was entirely captivated.

Who knew Whirl could be so damn seductive?

Whirl seated himself again. "M-Mind if I...?" He took one of Magnus's hands, guiding it down to his full channel. The heat it emitted was intoxicating, and Magnus's head spun when Whirl slid one finger over his anterior node. He knew what to do next. When he started rubbing the node, pushing down against it, Whirl threw his head back with a keen, bucking his hips into the hand. This felt like an accomplishment for Magnus, strangely enough.

"T-Tell me," Whirl croaked, "tell me w-what you thought of t-tonight's... tonight's..."

Magnus rumbled. "V-Very sweet, t-the one you c-called the F-Flaming Justice. T-Tasted like--" He cried out as Whirl clenched around him, harder this time. When Magnus opened his optics again, he swore he saw stars. Drool trickled from a corner of his gaping mouth. "S-So d-delicious..."

Whirl took the rest of Magnus's unit between two claws again. "What a-about the Moonpie?" he groaned. He started stroking in tandem with his thrusts, working the pincers down as he went up and meeting in the middle.

Magnus whimpered, thrusting desperately. "Like n-nothing I've ever had b-before," he gasped.

"Mmm, t-that's cause it's made w-with the rarest ingredients," Whirl chortled. His free claws reached back, tapping playfully on Magnus's channel armor. They snapped open shamelessly, and Whirl pressed the edges of his digits between the hard folds, finding the anterior node and pinching it. Magnus cried out, back arching off the berth. "P-Paid a pretty penny f-for them, you know. H-Heh heh, just kidding. I stole--"

"Nnnh," Magnus growled, "no." Whirl needn't ruin the mood with talk of his trouble-making.

Whirl suddenly lifted off of Magnus, retracting his claws. Magnus looked at him, wide-eyed and baffled. "So c-close," Whirl groaned, staring at the lubricant running down his thighs. "Remember when I s-said my treats are only... only for you?" Magnus, still confused and riding on a charge growing painful, watched as Whirl re-positioned himself, turning around. Now Magnus's head was between his knees, and Magnus stared up at the former Wrecker's channel. He winced as lubricant dripped on his cheeks. Whirl glanced back at him, his optic seeming to smile in a way. "Now eat."

Whirl lowered himself on Magnus's face, channel rubbing against his lips. Magnus closed his eyes, lost in the heat; he held Whirl's legs as he opened his mouth, tasting surprisingly sweet lubricant and pressing his tongue inside. Whirl groaned. He bowed down another inch so he was eye level with Magnus's unit. Pincers closed around it, and Whirl tenderly rubbed the sopping erection against the side of his "face."

"Sorry I can't d-do much in terms of m-mouth stuffs," Whirl hummed, "but these claws a-ain't just good for r-rippin' Decepticons limb from limb." He stroked the large shaft, a free pincer digging into the slit. Magnus half-sobbed against Whirl's channel, sending vibrations that tickled in his groin and the pit of his tanks. Magnus started licking faster, working the folds before sinking his tongue back inside. In true Magnus fashion, he licked and suckled on the anterior node properly and equally as the rest of Whirl's channel.

"Oh, Maggy," Whirl whined, optic flickering, "I'm s-so close. G-Get ready for somethin' _r-really_ sweet!"

Magnus didn't know what he meant, but he really should have. A minute later, Whirl was sitting back up, crying as he overloaded. Warm transfluid and more lubricant filled Magnus's mouth and stained his cheeks. He swallowed in heavy gulps.

Whirl tightened his claws at the base of Magnus's unit, and with the right amount of force, thrust the edge of one digit inside his slit. Magnus wailed, and that charged blossoming in his chest and loins exploded. Whirl closed his optic before transfluid could get inside, happily taking the load. He milked the unit dry with a few more strokes until he was satisfied.

Magnus panted heavily, optics flickering. Whirl moved aside, showing Magnus his "face" dripping with the mech's own transfluid. Magnus felt one last twitch in his unit. "And I call this..." Whirl stopped to remove something from a spare compartment. A rockstone cherry. He impaled it on his antenna. "Crème de la Whirl."

Magnus didn't know what was more embarrassing: Whirl's comment, or the fact he'd prepared a cherry just for this moment.

"So, whatta say, sweetcheeks?" Whirl leered. He wiped fluid from Magnus's face. "Wanna go round two?"

Magnus swallowed. "I... I'm not sure..." He invented, fans wheezing. "N-Need to recalibrate."

"No time for recalibrating when you're on the battlefield, soldier!"

"We're not in battle, Whirl."

Whirl plopped back down on Magnus's chest. "Well," he said, "I think that mouth of yours still has some ammo left." With that, he slid forward, rutting his growing erection against Magnus's chin. It wasn't fair how Whirl had better stamina than him. "But do ya got the ball bearings to take it?"

Magnus huffed. "Change of position," he grunted, and shoved Whirl off of him. Whirl clumsily and loudly fell over and onto his back. Magnus helped him sit up with one giant hand, moving his head between his legs. Now it was Whirl's turn to be shocked. Magnus ran his large tongue down Whirl's shaft, and the former Wrecker mewled. Magnus wrapped his lips around the head, tongue massaging against the slit.

"O-Oh ho!" Whirl laughed breathlessly. He clutched the back of Magnus's head, guiding his mouth further down his unit. "Doin' g-great so f-far."

"Great" wasn't "perfect," and Ultra Magnus always aimed for perfect. It was no surprise to either of them that he could take Whirl's entire unit down his throat. The way his intakes fluttered around it did pleasantly surprise Whirl, however. Magnus pulled his stretched lips slowly back up, sucking so hard and deep, Whirl swore he was being drained of his lifeforce.

"M-Maggy," Whirl groaned. "I k-knew your mouth was best for stuffing m-my goods."

Magnus nearly gagged on that comment. Focus. He reached the head, circled his tongue around it, then slid right back down. Like a glove, it was eerily perfect. Perfect, not great--much, much better. Whirl curled over Magnus, dragging his claws up his back. "If I d-die like this, that'd be c-cool. Thought I'd go out in a b-blazing glory, firing ten g-guns in the air at once. Guess I'll only be--be firin' one. H-Heh."

Magnus pulled back, grazing his teeth along the upside of the shaft. Whirl yipped. "R-Rare case where you swallow, n-not chew," he sputtered. "... F-Feels kinda nice, but j-just a reminder. I no snip-snip, y-you no nom-nom."

At this point, Magnus had just blocked out everything Whirl was saying. After just a few more thrusts, Whirl released a shrill cry that finally caught his attention again. A warning before transfluid gushed down his throat, and Magnus was momentarily thrown off. He swallowed it all, just like before, some of it seeping from the edges of his mouth and down his chin.

Then, it was done. For real this time. Whirl fell boneless against the wall. Magnus sat back, wiped his mouth clean, though some of the transfluid from earlier had dried and felt sticky on his cheeks and nose. "Was that to your liking?" he asked, matter-of-factly.

"Imagine a... a thumbs up," Whirl rasped. He dropped his head forward, looking at the mess between his legs. "T-Tsk tsk. Better clean this up. S-Should probably use your t-tongue--"

"As you would put it," Magnus cleared his throat, "my weapon is out of ammo."

Whirl chuckled. "Okay, Maggy," he said, "now let's have a slice of my Oozing Wiener."


End file.
